On the face of it, the attraction is lots and lots of panels and presentations about all kinds of diverse topics, plus a trade show where you can get to talk to exhibitors. What SXSW is really famous for, though, is the parties and the get-togethers. Austin is a party city at the best of times apparently, SXSW just even more so.

Many people go to conferences on a "mission". To get a job, land a contract, meet a-listers, get JV partners, date or just party. I was always in two minds about going until I was offered a place on a panel, but that fell through so in the end I booked with the intention of going to meet existing friends and make some new ones.

At one point I was supposed to give two talks, in fact. Neither happened. Really, once I found out I wasn't speaking I should have cancelled. The whole time I was there I was worried about what was happening at home. My daughter had just come out of hospital and my head wasn't in the right place anyway, being thousands of miles away just exacerbated that.

This is all background and gives a few insights into why I sucked so bad at SXSW, but here are some points on how I sucked and the tips I learned in the process